Joke

[sarahd]

okay, here\'s one:  if it\'s old, I\'m sorry:

Democrats make better lovers;  who ever heard of a nice piece of elephant  

[D.O.D]

    B+   DOD

[sarahd]

A -  at least

[gkg]

oldie but goodie - well worth reviving - i give it an A+

[D.O.D]

You win-- A+ DOD

[dirtface]

Damn, its an oldie and I haven\'t even heard it?! Thanks! I feel young again.

Now as for the joke I like it! Very nice.

[sarahd]

I thought this was cute and funny.

 

[gkg]

  now where could have have learned a thing like that?  

[Chris DiCicco]

A Guy goes into a Barber shop, with a mop of thick tangled hair.

the Barber asks " what do you want? "

the Guy says " make it so I don\'t look like a Humen kitchen Mop"

The Barber says " MY! you got a lot of hair " , "who you wanna look like...?"

the Guy " please make it look Normal, cut the sides and the back down, leave some on top.."

The Barber says " o.k. " and goes to work.

nicks the Guys Ear in the process of cutting down the huge head of hair...

the Guy says "Ouch! ... I said Normal not Van Gough"

bad umba scht!

This funny? Not to me I was the Guy... my ear still hurts.

Chris

[stuffyrandL]

Love the little Red Sox fan!  LOL!

I saw telemarketers mentioned above and wanted to post this.  I come home one day and my youngest is on the phone while my husband paints her toenails.  All she\'s saying is "Yeah! Bye-bye!  Hello!"  The extent of her two year old phone vocab a the time.  I asked who she was talking to and hubby says "Telemarketer. And this one is patient!"  Turns out he had been doing this for a while, handing the phone to the baby.  Works quite well and is very amusing to listen to from both ends. LOL!

I don\'t have a joke but a quote of sorts as I can\'t remember it exactly.  Denis Leary said it at some point.  And being an animal lover, I found it amusing.
"We\'ve had bird flu and dog flu....and no one has even looked at the cats?  I\'m not waiting around for the mouse flu!"  
It was much funnier when he said it.  

One more funny then I have to get going.  I have this annoying (to me) habit of switching letters which my friends find highly amusing.  An example of it:  I\'m telling a friend about spending summers on my Grampie\'s farm in NY near Lake Champlain.  About the chores we had to do and how we played in the pastures and woods.  All that jazz, so to speak.  I tell her how one of my jobs was to push HALES OF BAY down from the haymow into the barn aisle.  Classic example of the switch.  
As you all can imagine, this can sometimes result in some very inappropriate switches. LOL!  
And, if I try to avoid a topic, it comes up more often.  So, say I\'m trying to avoid religion, I\'ll always end up mentioning it about forty times.  Not very good at fibbing, I guess. LOL!

Sorry for the ramble!  I\'m a funny bugger but only to hear!  LOL!  Now, take my singing......LOL!

Take care, y\'all!
Stuffy

[Chris DiCicco]

I saw telemarketers mentioned above and wanted to post this.  I come home one day and my youngest is on the phone while my husband paints her toenails.  All she\'s saying is "Yeah! Bye-bye!  Hello!"  The extent of her two year old phone vocab a the time.  I asked who she was talking to and hubby says "Telemarketer. And this one is patient!"  Turns out he had been doing this for a while, handing the phone to the baby.  Works quite well and is very amusing to listen to from both ends. LOL!

One more funny then I have to get going.  I have this annoying (to me) habit of switching letters which my friends find highly amusing.  An example of it:  I\'m telling a friend about spending summers on my Grampie\'s farm in NY near Lake Champlain.  About the chores we had to do and how we played in the pastures and woods.  All that jazz, so to speak.  I tell her how one of my jobs was to push HALES OF BAY down from the haymow into the barn aisle.  Classic example of the switch.  
As you all can imagine, this can sometimes result in some very inappropriate switches. LOL!  
And, if I try to avoid a topic, it comes up more often.  So, say I\'m trying to avoid religion, I\'ll always end up mentioning it about forty times.  Not very good at fibbing, I guess. LOL!

Sorry for the ramble!  I\'m a funny bugger but only to hear!  LOL!  Now, take my singing......LOL!


Take care, y\'all!
Stuffy

the classic hand off to someone else, is a great way to deal with Telemarketers, pure genius that it be a toddler. I have put the phone down when watching a movie next to the speaker and hours latter forgetting all about the phone pick it up and the Telemarketer is still there saying " hello hello hello"  I geuss that makes me evil in torturing the poor soul, who does that for a living.

As for switching words, You\'r not alone when I am in a hurry writting note for class and the teach is talking a mile a minute, I write a couple of the letters then go back and write the whole word and then continue with the statement, the teach has seen me do this a number of times, thinking he talks to fast and slows in his confusion over my patchwritten skill but then goes right back into talking a mile a minute.

Rambling is OK!

Chris

[Chris DiCicco]

I always go out and see a bunch of Runners...

But I never see any Cops.

What are they running from?

Chris

[dirtface]

now where could have have learned a thing like that?  

Ahh yes, a coach in the making I see. It is important to learn sportsmanship at an early age isn\'t it?

[gkg]

dirtface wrote:

It is important to learn sportsmanship at an early age isn\'t it?

one can only hope the little tyke got a chance to watch the Olympic hockey, especially the game for the gold - the Fins and Swedes have a long standing and deep rivalry, and yet as rough as the sport may be, they were perfect examples of sportsmanship.  for some reason that is sorely lacking in US sports these days.  

[D.O.D]

 Presenting the world\'s shortest complete sentence, and the first short story: " Adam Had \'em. "