Aloha to all who read this. I am pretty new to the boards and in fact this is one of only 2 boards that I bother to read and participate in. No one here really knows me and don't have any friends here. From the little I know, Travis is a good person and I am a big Buckethead fan. That's why I write and share because I figure most contributors to the boards feel the same way. I don't know why but I am compelled to share my story of a great loss that has come to pass. I had to put my cat down yesterday and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I loved my cat dearly, his name was Troubles. He made the ripe old age of 19 years, during that time he was my best friend, my baby and my teacher. In return I think I was his number 1 fan. Over his life he had touched the hearts of many of my friends and neighbors. I have hundreds of pictures of him and equally as many memories and stories. He was very smart, too smart if you know what I mean, and I am not the only person who will tell you that. He did amazing things. During this grieving time I have been listening to Coltrane & Marley to name a few but have found very much comfort in track 11 on Colma (I've listened to it over and over) It expresses in sound what I can't say in words. So many nights I would lay with the headphones on after my wife and daughter went to bed and Troubles would lay on my lap just soaking in the love and the vibe I was feeling. I\'m going to miss that so much. His passing was pretty sudden so I didn't have time to have that last moment with him and when I listen to certain music it feels like he is still with me and in my heart he will always be. Funny thing is, I have lost a few "human" family members over the years and most of their passing pales in comparison to how I feel today. Thanks for reading this, writing it is a kinda therapy for me. I know a lot of people will say "he's just a cat, get over it", but he was more than just a pet – he was part of me.
(http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee273/yalcab/troubles2.jpg)
QuoteAloha to all who read this. I am pretty new to the boards and in fact this is one of only 2 boards that I bother to read and participate in. No one here really knows me and don't have any friends here. From the little I know, Travis is a good person and I am a big Buckethead fan. That's why I write and share because I figure most contributors to the boards feel the same way. I don't know why but I am compelled to share my story of a great loss that has come to pass. I had to put my cat down yesterday and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I loved my cat dearly, his name was Troubles. He made the ripe old age of 19 years, during that time he was my best friend, my baby and my teacher. In return I think I was his number 1 fan. Over his life he had touched the hearts of many of my friends and neighbors. I have hundreds of pictures of him and equally as many memories and stories. He was very smart, too smart if you know what I mean, and I am not the only person who will tell you that. He did amazing things. During this grieving time I have been listening to Coltrane & Marley to name a few but have found very much comfort in track 11 on Colma (I've listened to it over and over) It expresses in sound what I can't say in words. So many nights I would lay with the headphones on after my wife and daughter went to bed and Troubles would lay on my lap just soaking in the love and the vibe I was feeling. I\'m going to miss that so much. His passing was pretty sudden so I didn't have time to have that last moment with him and when I listen to certain music it feels like he is still with me and in my heart he will always be. Funny thing is, I have lost a few "human" family members over the years and most of their passing pales in comparison to how I feel today. Thanks for reading this, writing it is a kinda therapy for me. I know a lot of people will say "he's just a cat, get over it", but he was more than just a pet – he was part of me.
(http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee273/yalcab/troubles2.jpg)
\'No one here really knows me and don't have any friends here.\'
sadly thats the internet for ya, who really knows who? I\'ve been posting here since 2004 er 05, all my craziness is usually answered or ignored. I will Be Your Friend! and the other buzzilion other Buckethead fans will too, Travis is vary friendly and so are the Viggo philes, the DiCola fanbase is fun but they can talk circles around Me.
\'I know a lot of people will say "he's just a cat, get over it", but he was more than just a pet – he was part of me.\'
I for one will not. Pets are Magic (magik) I can\'t explain it but for myself , they hold you until they know your healed or somehow set, then they pass on into someone else or something else.
ok thats enough of my thoughts.
Chris DiCicco
Duckhead\'s buddy
Dearest Duckhead
Your never alone...you always have a friend in Bucketheadland....count me in for sure! Colma is wonderful for healing....I understand deeply the pain and loss you feel.
When I had to make the decision the first time...I found breavement sites for pet owners on the internet... It\'s sad how many people do not understand how great the loss of our furry friends is...and having to make that decision is not easy at all. I\'ve lost friends and loved ones too....yet the loss of my babies was unbearable....I bawled my eyes out reading the poems written from a pets perspective...it was cathardic...they dont\' want us to be sad...and they do love us really for making the decision and allowing them go in peace...end suffering. BIG HUGE HUGZ!
I\'ve been there...4 times myself.... my kitties were my family...my best friends too...ages 16, 18, 20, and 21 years. I don\'t have children. I understand that heart wretching moment...too well...and it is the last act of kindness and love we can offer. Troubles...wonderful name. At 19 in kitty cat years it adds up to somewhere in his 90\'s. It\'s always too soon...I know.
Our kitties...our loving pets...devote their lifetime to us...and I know they are never really gone.
I find myself catching a glimpse of each one...out of the corner of my eye still. Time has passed ( years 01, 02, 04, and 06)...the pain has eased...and now I smile....their joy still lives in my heart. Imagination playing tricks?...possibly but their memory will always live on. Troubles...still loves you. I know my babies still love me...and no doubt thank me too.
I had to forgive myself and come to terms... it was the most difficult decision...yes I understand gut wrentching and I had to accept that it was the kindest and most loving thing I had to do. in time...it becomes clearer...when the pain subsides.
BIG HUGE HUGZ.. Duckhead....your friend ZQ :-*
The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can\'t be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don\'t let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn\'t want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they\'ll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don\'t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We\'ve been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don\'t let your heart hold any tears.
-- Unknown
http://www.petloss.com/
toward the middle of the page there is a place to find more poems...let it flow...and the healing will follow.
much love...and Big HUGZ!
WOW – Chris and ZQ. There is a Hawaiian saying that goes "Ua ola no i ka pane a ke aloha". It translates to "There is life in a kindly reply", meaning, kind words are a very meaningful gift.
Your posts did great wonders for my psyche. I am very grateful for your thoughtfulness, it totally debunks the notion that the internet is impersonal. Those first few days were pretty dark for me but today I started to see some light as I mourned a little less and celebrated his life more. Music is a funny and wonderful thing, as I listen to different songs it seems I can apply the rhythms, melodies & lyrics to my thoughts of Troubles. One moment I am laughing ;D the next moment I have tears rolling down my cheek :\'( (I think the healing has begun).
Chris – your writing does make sense. ZQ – BIG HUGZ back at ya'. Thanks again friends! :)
"Ua ola no i ka pane a ke aloha" beautiful saying my friend!
BIG HUGZ! :-* :)
I am sorry to hear of your loss. Loosing a pet is never easy. There is an old American Indian story; I don't recall it exactly, so I will paraphrase:
God created man and animals. He placed them together, but the earth being newly formed shook and split apart. Man stood on one half of the gulf while animals stayed on the opposite bank. The chasm grew wider and deeper as the earth shook. Just before the gap was too wide to cross dog jumped across and stood at man's side.
I don't think the story says anything about cat, but I'm sure it was asleep in 'the warm spot' and couldn't be bothered. So it was stuck with us. Troubles sounds like he was a wonderful partner. Thank you for sharing not only your grief, but his life as well.
Hey Duckhead,
As you can see by the many responses you are not alone, and we are all friends here, regardless of your longevity or lack there of. As soon as you become a part of this, that's it, you're in! That is what makes this the best place to congregate even if some of us can't be here everyday or don't chime in on every subject.
I am with you my friend. I, like ZQ, have had a few losses and know your feelings at this difficult time. Please except my heart heavy sympathies and take comfort in all of our words in knowing that we really do care about you and your loss. I am not looking forward to, but know that I too shall again someday travel down this road that you have recently taken when it is time for Binx to end his journey with me. My cat Binx is the coolest bean on the planet, and oh my, if he could talk. :o Yikes! We have been together since he was six weeks old and he is now an old man at 14. For 5 years now we have been battling diabetes. He tolerates two insulin shots a day and a special diet. But one day the disease will wear him out. Many people have never opened up and allowed themselves to experience love for an animal or allowed an animal to love them, so do not be discouraged or alone when others do not respond, as they will just be unable to understand.
Troubles is the truest form of unconditional love you will ever experience, and he will never stray far from your side. Especially when you are listening to Buckethead, and you really can't blame him for that. ;)
It's never easy losing a love, but he knows that you are going to be all right.
Here is something I think all of us cat lovers will appreciate, I wrote it for Binx.
Look at your whiskers
The one stray whisker with a mind of its own
Pointing itself in a completely different direction then of all the others
Could it be that it secretly wishes to be an eyelash?
I love your sweet face
At times I find myself looking upon a child
Then in an instant a wise old man
What mysteries your mind withholds
It is alright if you speak to me
It will stay our secret
For no one would believe us anyway
A speaking feline? HA!
No one needs to know
Speak to me
Aloha Duckhead and Mohalo for shareing Troubles with us.
PS: Chris D --- you are a mess and you know I love your craziness. Still waiting for the Ukulele solo album!
Quote
PS: Chris D --- you are a mess and you know I love your craziness. Still waiting for the Ukulele solo album!
this isn\'t the place for that but pm me I got them.
I had pets die as well, I was kinda a dog person, but now I like both Cats and Dogs equally.
My Dog Rocky died of lymphoma, it was not pretty, but the hospice person was gentle, careful, and a real person, not some cold hearted monster but I am skipping ahead when I was a wee 3 er 4 we had two cats, Fluffy blue bird and Dragamuffin jump up, whom we rescued from the pound, one was vary still and the other would attack and run around aimlessly, well they both had leukemia er some other from of cancer er something and the person who took them away as memory serves (it usually does not these days) was in a tow truck?My Dad\'s dog Higgins (corgi) went after dinner, with his belly full, gave up when everyone was around wondering what was going on, bringing my Dad to tears Higgy died, Dad buried Higgy in the yard that (dark sad rainy) night, in his favorite towel, Dad also buried Sara his black lab mix. Sara had one mighty growth (hump) on the left of her flank and no teeth, blind and deaf among other ailments these didn\'t get her, I think she was put down (long story short).
Duckhead it will get better.
Chris DiCicco
I used names I haven\'t written in years,amazing how cute they were.
:)
Duckhead,
Hey man, i was saddened to hear about the loss in your life right now.
I\'m glad that you have the healing tones of Buckethead to help you along.
I lost a dear bot in late October. It\'s aweful, but i\'ve been thankul for the new releases, especially Decoding the Tombs of Bansheebot. I\'m listening to it as i type, actually.
Chicken Noodles has been in heavy rotation as of late, so the second installment should be enhancing as well.
rip Troubles
To all who have posted on this thread:
Just like tracks 5-8 on EMAC - You Rock! I am overwhelmed by the compassion that you all have shared with me. I\'ve never experienced the loss of a beloved pet and your comments & stories helped ease my fall. I can\'t express how much gratitude I feel. I was a little embarrassed by what a blubbering fool I was being but you have shown me that I am not alone and not a fool for loving my cat. The spirit of "Aloha" resides in every one of you.
I come back here often to re-read the posts and welcome more from you as well as from others.
Thanks again & Mahalo nui loa!
Sincerely, Duckhead